Susan Cassaro

My Story

My writing started when I was 10. I was in innocent experimentation and had much to tell of a wild, neglectfully unsupervised life. I found myself shuffled around through various relatives and in each household, discovered my journals were being read and I was never looked at the same again for my young apparently dysfunctional ways. The adults in my life thought I might need therapy. I didn't do that, but did stop writing. As an abused, emotionally disturbed young adult, once more I started writing  but it came with crippling apprehension and humiliation. Living alone, I still hid my writing with an overwhelming fear that I would be discovered and harshly judged. I felt paralyzed and had to burn them all and again stopped writing.. On Jan 1, 2018 after 40 plus years of various processes/workshops/retreats/trainings, and much soul searching found myself on a super full moon having a great fire ceremony and burned up all my feeling of 'not good enough', 'not wanting to be seen', incessant self-disparagement and many other repressed withholdings. I gave it all to the fire. Out of the flames came a shift I can't explain and my heart flooded with compassion and forgiveness for all the parts I've disowned.

Behind the Veil

Beyond the veil is where the deconstruction happens. Ideas, thoughts, beliefs, conditioning, emotions all start to decompose, deteriorating back into a spiritual mill, honing us in acceptance of our woundedness to be transmuted in a heart of compassion and forgiveness.  What we are left with is a lighter, truer version of ourselves as we were meant to remember. There’s nothing automatic about this process. It takes a ferocious passion, fearlessness and hungry persistence to look, sometimes claw past what is being presented to us in front of this veil of illusion cloaked as truth. The territory we travel is both past and future all woven and intertwined into the fabric of our very DNA and with every thought, every word , every emotion from us and others ripples through us and returned, fusing in such complexity into our energetic field that it’s no wonder we are confused and find it seemingly unattainable to find our way back to a place inside of us that is still whole, intact and of the source itself.  If we are too close, back up and look again in the mirror at the tapestry of our lives and how it has weaved our being from the cosmos  through all our experiences to our reflection. See past the flesh and bones to the deeper part of what animates us all, connecting us to everything.